Ruth's birth story (only a year late!) part 1

Baby #6. Our little Ruth Ann.

Let me start 6 years ago, because that was when I knew that Ruth was going to be joining our family. I wrote about it a little bit in Lincoln's birth story, but it is really Ruth's story...

We had just moved to Provo and Stephen had started the MBA program at BYU. It was a Sunday afternoon; Stephen was upstairs playing with the 3 (at the time) kiddos and I was downstairs reading my scriptures. Out of nowhere I had the thought that there was a little girl named Ruth waiting to come to our family. Okay, good with that. Then another thought that she was going to be born naturally. Again, I can do that. Then that it didn't need to be immediately, just be thinking about it. Okay, can do. And then "you should go tell Stephen."

Over a year later Lincoln was born - most assuredly not a girl. Two years later, along comes Trevor - again, not a girl. And then this pregnancy. In the days leading up to the ultrasound I kept wondering if this was our Ruth. I was excited to be having a baby either way, honestly and truly, because I knew eventually we would get our little girl. As soon as we saw our baby was a girl, Stephen and I looked at each other and knew it was our Ruth.

But now I'm getting ahead of myself, because there was another happening before I got pregnant as well. It's kind of a silly one, but made all the difference to us! Ready? We bought a second car. Funny, right? We've always been a one-car family. For a little while when Stephen and I were dating we each had our own car, but that was it. Thirteen years of one car. And the thing holding us back from having another baby was our 7-seater minivan + a very small student stipend = can't afford a bigger car.

Then my grandpa sent a very generous Christmas present and Stephen said, "why don't we get a second car?" Aaaaaaaah! Lights from heaven! If we had a second car we wouldn't need to buy a bigger car! And that meant...another baby! So we found a car, offered the guy what Grandpa had given us, and away we drove!

There was just one more thing we had to plan for before getting pregnant: the Nutcracker Ballet. We couldn't have a baby until after the ballet in December since both Stephen I serve on the Board of Directors. But after the ballet we would be ready! Stephen would hopefully have a job lined up and we'd be a few short months away from an income again.

Anyhow, the first trimester of pregnancy was rough. Not really any different than the other pregnancies, only it lasted a little longer. I pulled out my super power during this time: the ability to fall asleep any time, anywhere. Like while reading to the kids or singing to Trevor at nap time or sitting in the car waiting for an activity to be over or working on spelling with the older kids. Things were great until about week 35, when I started realizing that being pregnant at age 34 is quite a bit different than being pregnant at 21.

At 32-33 weeks we all flew to Oregon for a final goodbye visit/family reunion with my mom. It was wonderful and awful and physically and emotionally draining. So worth it, but so hard as well.

One of the absolute best moments of the trip was being in the temple together - Dad was sick, but Mom, Stephen, all my brothers and their wives were able to do sealings together and then go visit the Celestial Room and sit and talk and cry. We all knew Mom was on her way out, so being reminded of our temple covenants was especially meaningful.

I was just over 35 weeks pregnant when we had Nutcracker...that was a long and tiring week! By the end of show day I could literally barely walk. A Christmas tree excursion, two concerts (I accompany Mason and Sammy's Boys' Choir), and a Christmas Day later, I could finally start thinking about the baby...

July--Oregon visit--even MORE pictures!

That hair!

Trevor, Trevor David & David

Not every baby is lucky enough to know their great-grandpa

July--Oregon visit--cousins!

It started out innocently enough--me trying to catch these two cute baby cousins...

...but Liza totally wanted to be in the picture...

...so of course Lettie needed to be in it...

...wait! what? mom is taking a picture?...

...take one with all of us!

July--Oregon visit part 2

Walking with Morfar

Selfie time!

Grandpa had lots of people to walk with him--here Aunt Lori and Elise at a nice, shady resting spot. Grandpa carried a backpack with Gatorade and snacks...I felt kind of bad eating his hard-carried snacks, especially as I carried absolutely nothing! 

Ooh ooh! I have a great idea! Let's fill the tub with water, throw in all the balls and then jump in ourselves!

Trevor Jr and Trevor Sr

I loves my big brother!

Elise took some ballet classes while we were in Corvallis--one day I took Trevor Jr and Lettie to pick her up--they loved watching the girls twirl across the floor! (Elise isn't in this pic)

Well, at least I don't take as many selfies as Elise does...?

July--Oregon visit part 1

After leaving Minnesota we traveled to Laramie to meet with the sellers (Jerry & Olive) of our house--it was fun to show the boys around, and they felt at home right away! From Laramie we went to Meridian and spent the night with Stephen's parents, then on to Corvallis to see my little boys! 

I was so excited and anxious to be with Lincoln and Trevor that I wasn't thinking about anything else until we were about 10 miles from the farm. Then it hit me: Mom wasn't there. Mom was always there when we came to visit...only now, she's not. Wow. Another first. 

The first few days at the farm I hardly looked up from the floor. Everything there Mom put there. The music on the piano. The quilts on the wall. The pictures on the shelf. The plants and decorations and books and notes and cushions and knick knacks...she was in everything, only she wasn't there anymore. 

Dad noticed my distress and said, taking me in a huge hug, "I know. It's hard without her here." 

And that's the bare naked truth.

***

One thing--the only thing, really--I wanted to do when we were in Corvallis was walk with my Grandpa. His 90th birthday was August 2nd, and to commemorate that he was walking 90 miles in the 10 days beforehand. I walked 13 miles with him the first day (with absolutely NO training on my part--boy was I feeling that big walk!!), but only 6.5 the next--my body said I couldn't keep up with Grandpa! Day three the kids and I walked to the Farmer's Market with him.

The kids enjoyed a famous Nancy cinnamon roll, and Trevor looooooved the local Gumbo band. He was really boogy-ing!

The kids had lots of great bonding time with Dad--I wish I had more pictures of him with them! I got really worried a couple of days before Lincoln and Trevor were going to leave with him--how would he handle Trevor (still) pooping in his underwear? What about making meals and tucking in at night? I told him all of my concerns and he reminded me that he helped raise 5 kids--he'd be just fine. And he was! They had a great time together.

On Sunday we visited my Mom's grave. I was glad to be there--and even gladder (I know that isn't a word) to see that she and Grandma were buried right next to each other. It made her passing even more real. More this-actually-happened. More permanent.

Arm wrestling

Cousins picking peaches--Mom would have loved this!

Oregon trip part 3, the Coast 11/2014

My one request concerning our beach house was that each family would have their own bathroom...well, at least that mine would. :) Our house, The Castle, did not disappoint! We spent most of our time inside, just hanging out, though Kaelah, Elise and I did slip away to do some shopping, and most of us went down to the beach at some point. Unfortunately Missy and Marni got super sick, so spent some quality time taking care of each other. And fortunately nobody else caught whatever they had!

Elise and Sammy thought it would be fun to play in the water...water temp 55, air temp 38, wind speed ~15 mph. It was fun...until Sammy did a face plant in the water while running from a wave. Brr! Luckily Uncle Brett can run fast - he ran his little guy up to the Castle and came back for Sammy, who was only halfway of the half mile up the hill to the house.

That wind was cold!!

The tide pools were lots of fun!

Mom was able to come out to the coast for a few minutes before she got too tired. Dad drove right onto the beach, so she was still able to enjoy watching the kids play from the car. Aunt Lori and Grandpa came to hang out for a few days, which was lots of fun!

I think Sammy will always treasure this picture of him and Grammy.

Couple of goofballs...

Ballet on the beach

On our last night all together at the Castle my brothers, some of their wives and some of my kids gathered in Mom's room to pray with her. We knelt around the bed (well, except for me and Mom), and Mom held my and Trevor's hands and Trevor prayed. There was a pretty amazing feeling in the room. Mom told us how much she loved us, and we all gave her long hugs before we left. What an amazing woman! Oh, how we miss her!

Mom did really well in spite of all the chaos. She napped a lot and went to bed early, but she loved that all of us were having so much fun together. She has always loved being in the middle of everything! 

Over the previous months Mom had written down a bunch of memories as well as looking through journal entries and pulling out stories she thought we would enjoy. She made new copies of "famous Cochran quotes" for everyone, and gave everyone a packet to have. [side note: I actually couldn't even bring myself to read through it until the night before her funeral. It was in my nightstand the entire time...I just couldn't bring myself to open it.]

On the last morning there she was even more tired than usual. I can still see Dad not leaving her side and shielding her from the chaos all around her. She slept all the way home and well into the late afternoon, when she got up and went to the couch until bedtime. 

Scott & Marni and Trevor & Kaelah had gone home, but the rest of us had a simple dinner and hung out talking until bedtime. In the morning Brett and Dad brought Jeff, Missy and my family to the airport. Saying goodbye to Mom was so hard. We all knew these were our last moments together in this life. 

Our last week together was quite representative of our lives together: Wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing. We left each other with no regrets. 

Oregon trip part 2, Grammy's house 11/2014

As soon as Mom decided to stop doing chemo and was given the "six months...or less" to live verdict we had a family Skype call and very quickly decided that we were all going to get to Corvallis around Thanksgiving and rent a house at the Coast and have our final reunion with Mom. Everything fell into place - a place to stay, no tests (Scotty & Jeff are in med school), cheap(ish) flights...we were just meant to be together.

One of the absolute best moments of our Oregon trip was being in the temple together - Dad was sick, but Mom, Stephen, all my brothers and their wives were able to do sealings together and then go visit the Celestial Room and sit and talk and cry. That was the one thing Mom always wanted: to be in the temple with all her children and their spouses. 

I don't quite know how to express my feelings about it without possibly sounding like "oh, we're so great", but we were all there. After all the challenges and difficulties, we were all there together. And to be reminded that one day, not too soon, we'll all be together again. It was a very joyful, teary time.

We did some singing around the piano - another of Mom's favorite things in the whole world!

The kids had so much fun with aunts & uncles & grandparents and cousins!

Most everyone arrived on Thanksgiving Day, then to the temple on Friday, the Civil War game (OSU vs UO) on Saturday, little Kate Carol's blessing on Sunday and then off to the Coast!