p.s. to Ruth's story

Somehow or another I forgot a very special and important part of Ruth's birth story--the singing. As I said before, I was pretty out of it for awhile after her birth, but sometime between me getting stitched up (bad tearing) and falling asleep, I had some good time to snuggle with tiny Ruthie. I had a clear impression that I should sing to her. I was kind of self-conscious at first, but then remembered that this was my time, and by jingo, I was going to do what I wanted! :) I had my soft music turned off and just hummed and sang to her.

I don't know how many songs I sang, but it was a lot. She fussed and I sang. She calmed down and I sang. She nursed and I sang. The midwives noticed a calm feeling in the room and encouraged me to keep singing. Other things are fuzzy, but Ruth's face is clear in my memory as I sang to her. I still sing to her at nap time and bed time. In fact, I still sing to Lincoln and Trevor, too, and sometimes even the older kids ask me to sing to them. I love it. 

Name That Baby, 2015 edition

Who is who?

1)

2)

3)

 4)

5)

6)

My mom

I have started this post so many times, but rarely get past the first few sentences. How do I write that my mom is dying? Because putting it in cold, hard words makes it real. And yet, it doesn't change the facts: it's looking like she has less than 2 weeks left on this earth.

That is hard. Impossibly difficult. Soul wrenching.

I burst into tears at times I least expect it. Little Trevor runs for his blanky every time, rushing to bring it back to me and wipe my tears and do a silly dance to make me smile. When we told the kids the news on Saturday there were a lot of tears, and Trevor gave his blanky to Elise to wipe hers. Along with shedding their own tears, my kids comfort me with hugs and prayers.

I said my goodbyes to Mom on Saturday night. She is ready to move on. In fact, my dad said "She just wishes that the next time she wakes up she would be free from this vale of tears." That's essentially what she told me on the phone - this last stage of dying is really just dragging on. She feels like she is done here - ready for the next stage in her eternal life.

As weird as that was to talk about, I'm glad I know she feels that way. It is comforting that she isn't fearful or dreading the future, but can look forward with perfect faith and confidence and peace.

I don't cry because I don't have faith in temple covenants and the sealing power or in Jesus Christ's power to save. I do have that faith. I'm not worried about where she is going - she gets to be with Grandma and her grandparents and countless other people whose temple work she has done. I believe that.

I cry because I am going to miss her terribly. I'll miss being able to call her up to tell her a funny story about one of the kids, or because I need help with a recipe, or need advice. I'll miss her not being here when my daughter is born, or showing off pictures of her darling grandkids. I cry because I won't be able to be at the funeral.

So when people try to comfort me in my times of extreme sadness, reminding me of the plan of salvation doesn't help. I believe it. Telling me she will soon be free from pain doesn't help. I know that. Neither does the fact that I will see her again or she is in a better place or it is just us who are left behind who mourn. I've got that.

But losing a parent sucks. It just does. No two ways around it. And right now I just need to grieve and cry and be sad and not do my dishes sometimes. I don't know when my weepiness will pass. I'm told it does, and I'm not one to wallow in misery, so I'm sure it will. I don't always cry, but my tears are frequently near the surface, and I never know when they will start.

So please, please be patient with me as I mourn.

Random snippets

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

And she looks healthy and like she might be a thumb sucker. :)

***

When I was a kid, I remember having my little brothers pray with me and encouraging them to say two new things in every prayer they said. I never dreamed that one day my kids' prayers would include:

"Please bless A that her cancer counts can go down. Please bless B that he can be kind and helpful and do what he knows he should. Please bless C that the doctors can fix the hole in her heart. Please bless D that her kidneys can start to work again."

***
While Stephen was away for 5 days at a conference, Sammy took over the "camel" duty. Every evening after family prayer he would give the little boys a camel ride in to bed. This is also my boy who asked me the other day, "What would you do without Daddy?" I replied that I honestly didn't know. He said, "I would do the things that Daddy does to help you out." What a sweetie!

A few weeks ago Elise and some of her classmates performed at a Mexican restaurant to help raise money for an orphanage in Mexico. They warmed up in the arcade...

We spend about an hour with a fire fighter touring the truck and asking questions that he had never heard before. People who take the time to answer our questions are gems in our homeschooling world!

Mason and Sammy finished up a fun summer playing soccer--Sammy especially loved it, and now has dreams of going to the World Cup (we watched a good bit of soccer this summer...).

We dogsat a friend's dog for a couple of weeks--what an angel dog! I think I could handle having a dog like Cooper! Trevor (and Lincoln) took great pride in taking him on walks.

Trevor stole Sammy's glasses...

What to do when it dumps buckets of water from the sky? PLAY TIME!!

Boy or girl?

What do you think? Jones baby #6--boy or girl?

Sammy

Sammy just turned 6 years old!!

Never was a boy so excited! A few days earlier we went to the thrift store and found lots of goodies for him. I even scored a bike off of freecycle a few months ago, and after Stephen pumped up the tires it was good to go. I love how exciting birthdays are--just knowing that it is YOUR day makes even the most mundane things fun. Sammy got to choose his birthday dinner, and he chose baked veggies--specifically asparagus, potatoes and yams with homemade bread, butter and jam, "Because I wanted to choose something good for my body."

Sammy is such an incredible helper with Trevor. When I ask him to help he never deserts his post until I relieve him--even if Trevor is fussy and won't be happy.

Painting on a beautiful day

Mason

Mason snuggling with Trevor

How Mason cleans his room...

Meet Cassini, the spacecraft currently orbiting Saturn (notice Saturn on the table next to him? When the orange started to stink and drip juice I made him throw it out.). Mason is determined that he is going to create spacecraft using tinfoil and cardboard and then sell them based on their size. He has also made a model of the Messenger, the spacecraft orbiting Mercury. I'm not quite sure who is going to buy these incredible works of art...I'm not sure a "Spacecraft Stand" would do quite as well as a lemonade stand...but I did just buy him his own roll of tin foil, and you have never seen such a grateful boy!

He took off his front wheel after it finally popped...

And perhaps what makes me the most excited: He has discovered books! Not just product manuals, but STORY books! Hooray! He just finished "The Last Battle" in The Chronicles of Narnia.

Life with 5 kiddos

These next couple of weeks Stephen is going to be crazy busy. I'm not really looking forward to it--but, I've managed before and I will again. :) At least his being crazy busy isn't all that common--not like my friend whose husband works finance in NYC. She's a wonder woman.

Anyhow, Monday started out a little rough. Trevor was congested all night, and when he did sleep he was so noisy he kept me awake. I ended up sleeping in until after 9am. I have to say that I have an amazing daughter. Amazing!! When I got up everyone was dressed, fed and had all their morning chores done. In fact, they were playing outside in the snow!

I learned later that Lincoln had had a poopy diaper and his diaper had come undone...so when Elise went to change him the diaper was hanging down one leg and he was covered in poo! She put him in the bath and swished out his poopy pjs. And the whole time she was concerned that the water running would wake me up. She helps put Lincoln down for naps, or holds the baby while I do that. She makes pancakes and gets snacks and can get both babies in their car seats. She does her school work without being reminded (she had most of it done this morning before I ever got up--and I was up early today!) and is always willing to help out.

The rest of Monday went well--I made bread, played games, watched "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", (their favorite show!) and had FHE and prayers, all with the kids, because that's how we roll here. Elise and Mason made dinner--their favorite: Macaroni & cheese with hot dogs and beans. We had a "romanticky" meal with a tablecloth, candles and our new Christmas stoneware (another sweet thrift store find!). Sammy & Lincoln took a bath while the others cooked. The bath is my new dinnertime babysitter. :) Stephen got home a little after 10pm.

I feel like I'm falling behind. The piles are beginning to grow--on my counter, in the hall, on my dresser, in the front room....But I'm simply not able to do everything right now. It seems like just when I'm about to get something (as in clutter clean up) done Trevor needs to nurse or Lincoln has a poopy diaper or Mason has a new invention to show me or it's time for school or lunch or ballet or dinner.

Yesterday I got in my workout clothes and was all set to do my Jillian workout--I had it all planned out (I should have known something would happen!): Trevor had nursed recently and was asleep, so I could work out, get a quick shower and then do school and nurse the baby. Well, Trevor woke up, Lincoln had a poopy diaper and the kids all decided to do the work out with me. Then Trevor needed to nurse so we did school right then. And then it was lunch time. Put the baby to sleep, make lunch, soothe the baby, put Lincoln down for his nap, nurse the baby, finally take my shower! Only 3 hours later!

Mason's ear was really hurting him yesterday, and when Mason complains of pain, I know it's bad. The last time I took him to the doctor he had a double ear infection, but hadn't even noticed! Sammy woke up in the middle of the night because "it felt like mice were biting my legs." Lincoln is currently cutting molars, so isn't sleeping well, and Elise has an uncomfortable-sounding cough. I cut the boys' hair today.

I think that once I get a good night's sleep (which is totally relative with a newborn!) I won't feel quite so far behind. I do enjoy this time of life!! I know there are things that only happen with my babies in the newborn stage--the cooing and new smiles and curling up and swaddling, along with the frequent nursings and diaper changes and night-time wakings. It's all par for the course. It, too, shall pass. And I'm sure I'll miss it.

So,

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up, I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

It's always fun when grandparents come!

As I mentioned before, my mom got into town about 16 hours before Trevor came into the world. She was here for 12 wonderful days. My plan for after I had TD was to do nothing but take care of him for about a week. My mom took care of everything else--cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, hair cuts, carving pumpkins, reading, field trips, and painting the front room, hall and kitchen/dining room. So, she did way more than I ever do! :o) In fact, I made a list of things for her to do--like cleaning my fridge--and she was glad I had that list! Crazy woman!

Monday night she gave all the boys haircuts (don't worry--Lincoln still has curls!):

She took the older 3 kids to the circus:

And because she didn't have enough to do, she washed walls and painted:

She took all of us to the apple orchard--my first venture out of the house:

She did school with the kids. Notice Mason's concentration? Mom made him hold his pencil correctly, and it was kind of tricky for him...:

She took Elise to ballet:

And the older kids to the St. Paul LDS Temple, and Catholic Cathedral:

Somehow I didn't get any pictures of perhaps the most surprising thing to me: how Lincoln took to his Grammy! I spent several days in bed with the baby, and Lincoln got croup, so couldn't really be near us. In fact, everybody got croup on Tuesday--the day TD was born. Not fun. Sammy was so bad we took him to the ER (but ended up only at Urgent Care) on Thursday. But back to Lincoln and Grammy...

The day that Mom took the older kids to the temple Lincoln cried and cried when he realized he didn't get to go. He was so sad! His face about broke Grammy's heart! She put him down for his nap before she left, but wasn't back by the time he got up. I went in to get him when he woke up, hoping for some snuggles, but he wriggled out of my arms and ran out of the room calling, "MA! Mama!", looking for my mom!

With the croup he started waking up at night, and my angel mother would get up with him (and Sammy). Even after he was over his cough he kept waking up and Mom would rock him and sing him back to sleep. Funny thing, since Mom has left Lincoln has slept through the night as usual. Stephen and I figure that he really liked that time alone with his Grammy. :o)

She carved pumpkins with the kiddos:

             

And read lots and lots and lots of books!

Stephen and I introduced Mom to our new favorite show, "White Collar", and we watched quite a few episodes with our new projector, compliments of my dad. :o) No more watching movies on my little laptop screen!

Speaking of my daddy-o, he stopped by for a couple of days on his way back from Germany! We went to the Science Museum with him yesterday--Mason loved. having him there to do experiments with--and at home to solder and desolder with him. We went out for dinner at Famous Dave's rib house, and he took the kids out for donuts this morning. And of course they wrestled and tickled. :o)

Come back soon, Grammy & Papa!!

Introducing Trevor David Jones!

I love birth stories. I love reading them and writing them. So, reader beware, this might be TMI for the normal crowd. :o)

My "guess date" was October 12, but I was certain that date would come and go with no news. I was right.

I told my mom to not come on or before the 12th, because I wanted her here for the maximum amount of time after the baby was born. My mom flew in from Oregon at 1:30 on Monday (the 17th) afternoon. We went to Ikea, and walked and walked and walked. And dreamed and planned and bought.

At bedtime that night (11pm), I started having some hard contractions, and knew I'd be home with my baby in the next 24 hours. That was a happy thought to go to sleep to! I woke up at 1:43am, no longer able to sleep through the contractions, but I stayed in bed until around 2:30am. I started timing my contractions and writing down how long they lasted (because I'm terrible at remembering things like that). At 2:30am I came out to the front room so that I could walk around a little and rest on the couch. I found that my favorite position was leaning over something--on my knees leaning on the piano bench, on my feet leaning against the kitchen counter--that was what felt best. I gathered a few last-minute items, and finally decided it was time to call the midwife.

When I was laboring with Lincoln I discovered that counting really helped me make it through each contraction. I focused on each individual contraction, not thinking about anything else. And I would count up to the peak and then backwards again.

I was having to do my low guttural breathing to get through a contraction , and felt some pretty good pressure down below. I woke Stephen up at 4am, telling him I was calling the midwife, but then changed my mind--the contractions were so close I wouldn't have had time to talk between them, so I told Stephen that he was calling the midwife. I gave him my list of contractions and he was able to tell Catherine what was going on. She said to come right in (she was already there with another laboring mom).

Stephen was surprised that she wanted us to come in right away--he was thinking back to Lincoln and how we were at the birthing center for quite a long time before he finally showed up. Truth be told, that is what I was thinking, too--I DID NOT want to be at the birthing center any longer that I needed to be. But I figured, with how I was feeling, I needed some extra help--especially if I was going to feel that way for many more hours. I was dreading that. I knew I could do it--what was my alternative?--but I wasn't looking forward to it. My contractions were almost on top of each other, and so hard.

I was so grateful that Mom had just arrived--as my dad said, "Looks like the calvary made it in the nick of time!"

We arrived at the birthing center at 4:30am. Catherine (my midwife) met us at the door, and in between contractions I told her how I was feeling and what had been going on. We got to the Chocolate Room (don't you love the name?!) where the giant tub was full and waiting for me. She suggested I lay on the bed so she could check me and the baby, but then decided to put me straight in the tub. Oh, it was wonderful to get in that hot water! She checked me in between the next 2 contractions and said, "You are complete! Let me know when you want to start pushing!"

HALLELUJAH!!!!! This wasn't going to last forever! It wasn't going to last much longer at all! I said a very, very heartfelt prayer of gratitude. Stephen turned on Yanni and helped me remember to make low sounds and relax. I really focused on what he was saying, and survived every single contraction--even when I didn't think I could. I kept saying to myself, "Every one of these brings me closer to holding my precious baby." And once out loud, "GOD ALMIGHTY!!!" I was leaning against the side of the tub, in the wonderful water, on my knees. It was just the most comfortable position for me.

In between each contraction I felt perfectly calm--I even remember saying, "Stephen, remind me about how I feel right now next time I want a baby." And all of a sudden I needed to push. Oh my, oh my. Stephen moved in to position (having no idea how to catch a baby). Push one, I can see the head! Push two, you're doing great! Push three, out to the ears!! Push four, he's out!!! GREAT relief--the pain was gone, and replaced with a beautiful baby boy. And I didn't tear at all!! He was born at 5:05am.

Catherine and Stephen put him on my back and gave him a rubdown to encourage him to take his first breath, and then I heard the sweet, sweet sound of my newborn's cry! I rolled over in the water and just held him close to me until the cord stopped pulsing and Stephen cut it. We stayed in the water a bit longer, and then Stephen took the baby and Dana (the birthing assistant) helped dry me off and put me in bed.

Then I just held our little Trevor David and looked at him and loved him. He started rooting around and so we nursed...and nursed...and nursed. And then slept and rested. Our Trevor David is named after two of his uncles--my oldest brother, Trevor Dean, and Stephen's oldest brother, David.

I was able to get up and go to the bathroom, and had some yogurt and fake gatorade. And then we rested and listened to music. Dana and Paula (another of the midwives--Catherine was helping another baby come to the world) did little Trevor's newborn exam and Vitamin K shot, and then Stephen left to get the kids and my mom at about 8:45am. Our "little" Trevor beat out all of his siblings (and namesake) at 9 lb., 11 oz.!!

They were so excited to meet little Trevor! Well...not Lincoln so much...he clung to Stephen most of the time he was there.

Mom made breakfast for all of us in the kitchen, and the kids and I thoroughly enjoyed it. :o) What a special memory for all of us to be there together! The birthing center (Morning Star) has been just great! If we have another baby while in MN, I'm definitely going back!

I got home at 11:30am--same day--with a "tuck-in doula" to get me all settled in. I was put on bed rest for 24 hours, and settled in to rest. It was great--I felt so good (considering I had just given birth) and everyone waited on me hand and foot. It was wonderful to have my recovery at home, in my own bed with my own lumpy pillow and my sweet kids poking their heads in to check on the newest brother and I. I could have the door closed and sleep or open and be part of the fun, without any of the responsibility.

We couldn't be happier with our sweet baby Trevor! 5 kids. Wow. We feel so blessed and grateful!