Baby jitters

I haven't been nervous at all about welcoming baby #5 into our home...until last night when I realized how nervous Stephen is about it. The other day he jokingly asked, "Your mom is staying for 2 months after the baby is born, right?" Ha ha ha, I laughed, "I was able to talk her into almost 2 weeks." Then he said, "Seriously, I need her here for at least a month." Ha ha ha, I laughed again.

Um, yeah. He was dead serious.

Until he pointed it out, I hadn't thought too much about the fact that I really do pretty much everything around the house so that he can focus on schoolwork and spend time with the kids. He has so much going on with various school projects--he's not sure how he is going to be able to get everything done without adding a new baby to the mix!

Thinking about that made me think about what he is going to need to do when this baby is born--or rather, what I'm not going to be able to do. I thought about the fatigue, and how I don't do well without sleep...how I get the baby blues, but try to keep up appearances anyhow...how it really takes a lot to run a large household--keeping things tidy-ish, cooking meals, giving everyone what they need...fulfilling my church calling...caring for an infant...

I've decided that I'm just going to plan a month where I push the pause button on everything, and turn my focus towards my own home and family. I'll go into survival mode. I'll stay in my pjs and eat meals out of my freezer (the stocking has already begun), I'll be okay with Elise doing more than she is used to, and having the boys' room not be clean. We'll take a couple of weeks off of formal school, and I might not sweep my floor every day. I'll plan on keeping my front room clean (because I go nuts when it isn't), but be more relaxed about the rest of the house.

I'll let myself cry when I need to, because sometimes I do. I might even let my friends help when they offer. I won't go to the store, and will get outside for the fresh air that I need. I won't worry about having my garden all ready for winter, and I'll take some Sundays off of church. I'll shower and nap and not worry that my other kids are being neglected. I'll let them help, and read to them in my bed. I'll let my assistant compassionate service leader take care of any needs that come up at church. I'll try to remember that by taking care of myself I'm also taking care of my 5 children and husband.

One of my main goals between when we started school and when the baby comes has been to get all the kids (Lincoln excepted) into a consistent routine so that fulfilling their responsibilities will be second nature to them, and they will be quickly obedient with limited reminders. They are doing well...and we still have another month or so to work on it.

I know we'll be fine--we always are, eventually. It's just going to be a bit rough at first. But that, along with the discomforts of pregnancy, is all par for the course. And I'm okay with that. :o)