One of those people

When I grow up, I want to be the kind of person who others can call when someone needs help. You know, the Janell Watsons or Brenda Paynters or Cailynn Brinkerhoffs of the world--those marvelous women you can always count on to have charity and do the dirty work with a cheerful and a non-judgmental heart.

At church I'm the compassionate service leader, meaning that it is my calling to have and show charity. From setting up rides to chemo to recruiting for housework for invalids to arranging meals for new moms, I'm the go-to person when someone has a need in the ward. It's a calling I hope I'm growing into.

Tonight I had the experience of going into someone's home who doesn't have much. What a humbling experience. I've never been without food--and some to spare. Never.

This woman has a teenage son and an infant daughter. Her husband just went home to their home country. She was working and going to school, but with such a little baby and complications from her cesarean, is home recovering. She is all alone with a newborn baby and a teenage son and no income. She can't nurse her baby because of the medications she is on as a result of the delivery complications.

I have a confession: I am on WIC. A few months ago, after over-spending on our food budget for many months, and beating myself up about it every. single. month., I prayed and pondered and talked to people I trust (particularly my Dad, because I inherited my distrust of government from him) and took the plunge into government assistance.

It wasn't an easy decision for me. I've looked into it every year since we started back to school--so since 2008. I'd review my decision to stay away from government programs annually, and until this year, couldn't bring myself to do more than look into them.

But now I'm one of "those" people. The kind who suck government resources while talking on their cell phones. The kind who make you stand in the checkout line forever. The kind who has so many children you think I'm irresponsible.

Only...I'm not.

And really, whose place is it to judge? Do the people in line behind me, impatiently tapping their toes, know my situation? Do they know that I'm a darn good mom who just needs a little help right now? That my kids will grow up and be amazing contributors in society? Do they know that I shop at thrift stores, but mostly rely on clothing I squirreled away during our seven years of plenty? That I hate the shame of receiving help from the government? Do they even need to know those things? 


At what point do we stop judging and start being kind?

At the store the other day I was filling a bunch of WIC vouchers, and it was taking forever. I was blushing and feeling so ashamed as the line grew behind me. I apologized to the man behind me and he said, "Don't worry, honey, I'm retired! I could stand here all day!" Oh, bless you, kind man!

So next time you are waiting in the grocery line and are unfortunate enough to be stuck behind someone like me...think of me. Think of this struggling woman, doing her best to make ends meet. Think of how you would want someone to treat your own daughter.

The world can use more people like Janell Watson, Brenda Paynter and Cailynn Brinkerhoff. When I grow up, that is my goal!