Quite a few years ago I noticed that every time my birthday or Mother's Day rolled around I would be extra grumpy. Upon analyzing the reason behind this (something Stephen taught me to do), I realized that I was grumpy because not everything was focused on me me me. I thought the world should revolve around ME for a day, but inevitably I would have to change a poopy diaper and do dishes and other mundane household chores.
So I decided that instead of wanting everything to be about ME, I would just be happy to be alive. Just be happy to be a mother. Just be happy to have a mother. Just be happy in my life.
That slight shift in attitude has made my birthdays and Mother's Days some of the most joyful days of the year. While I clean up throw up I think "it's my birthday!!!" and am just happy. What is happening outside me doesn't phase me, because it's my special day!
One more thought before my special present for mothers everywhere...sometimes at the end of the day I'll look at the tabs I have open in Chrome--it gives me a snapshot of what the kids and I talked about and learned throughout the day. For example, at this second I have a font page open (working on a yearbook for our homeschool co-op), "how to buy a house by owner", zillow (looking at houses), and gmail.
And now to my gift:
Chances are high that if you stop by to visit unannounced, my front room will look something like this. (Unless my 12-year-old daughter is in charge of the front room for the week. Then it is pretty clean most always. But this week it was the 9-year-old boy's responsibility.)
Anyhow, my gift is the gift of imperfection. Of answering the question "how do you do it all?" with the truth: I don't. I don't even try anymore. It's too stressful and not worth it. I choose carefully what to do, because frankly, I don't have time to do everything. So I don't. And I'm okay with that.
I don't love that my front room is so messy--in fact, sometimes it really gets to me, and nobody does anything or goes anywhere until it is clean enough to vacuum. At the same time, I can look at it and feel very loved!
~My visiting teacher hemmed my sheer curtains, brought them back yesterday and helped me hang them.
~The dining room chair is in the room because I have 4 amazing piano students, but couldn't put it away after lessons because my husband and my VTer's husband were putting in a new kitchen floor.
~I have clean, (mostly) folded laundry all over because I have six amazing kids, clothing & bedding & everything we need for them, and a husband who helps me fold everything.
~The stripey blanket (that I made with the help of friends and an awesome mom) is on the floor because Mason was playing with Ruth last night.
~Our maps (that Stephen framed for me) are off the wall because we had the walls painted recently.
~[out of picture] Mason's stereo is on the floor (and the disco ball on the wall) because the kids love to have dance parties in the living room.
~My star quilt (that my mom made) is on the floor by the laptop because Stephen and I watched a movie last night after a long day of work (instead of cleaning up the room).
~[out of picture] A plant is wilting--a plant that my brother- and sister-in-law sent me 4 months ago after my mom passed away.
~Mason's piano books are spread all over because he loves to play the piano.
~I have two stain-free onesies for Ruth because of the glorious sunshiney day we had yesterday.
How can I complain about anything?
Today is a wonderful, wonderful day. Just because it is. Not because of gifts or recognition or perfection, but because of hugs and family and imperfection.
Happy Mother's Day!
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